The 5 Love Languages , the secret to love the lasts by Dr Gary Chapman.
Have you ever been in one of those relationship in which you think you are doing everything you can to please your partner, but they always feel unhappy and unlucky? I mean, you give them compliments, you work hard to pay all the bills, you give them gifts, you even do a lot of work in the house, but they still feel unlucky.
You may be like, what more do they want?
Well the reason why your partner doesn’t feel in love, or lucky to be with you is because you are not speaking in her love language. In this book Dr Gary tell us that people doesn’t give and receive love in the same way.
Most of us we think that the way we want to be loved is the same way that other people want to be loved as well. Unfortunately, this is not the case. They are in fact 5 love languages.
This is very important because if you are not speaking the same language or understand the language of your partner you will be missing a lot. The perfect example for this will be a French guy trying to speak to a Chinese guy. It’s not going to go well because they won’t understand each other.
If you want to have a strong relationship, you need to learn how you and your partner give and receive love.
The 5 Love Languages are:
1. Words of affirmation
People with this dominant love language like to hear positive thoughts and comments. For them, words are very powerful and can be as motivating (if positive) as they can be diminishing (if negative). Those people would be constantly encouraging and motivating and would appreciate the same kind of treatment from their partners. They love to receive kind words, and appreciation.
2. Act of service
Those with dominance in this love language like to serve others. They like to make sure that everyone’s needs are answered and fulfilled, and they expect to receive an equally “serving” treatment from others. For them, helping out is the best proof of love.
3. Receiving gifts
Before reading this book, I thought this love language was very superficial as being based on constantly receiving gifts (after all, who can constantly buy gifts without getting tired of it?). It turns out that the types of “gifts” that the author is referring to are the kind of stuff that have an emotional value, like getting a small souvenir from a trip, or getting a simple card “I thought of you” card from someone. These simple gestures mean the world to those whose love speaks this language.
This love language is pretty straightforward. People with a dominance in this love language would appreciate quality time with their partners. They do not need to reach the moon to be happy, but they simply need some one-on-one time to feel special and appreciated. They love people who listen, and spent a lot of time with them.
Those with a dominance in this love language favor physical touch. The more they get touched, the happier, more satisfied they feel. The simplest types of touches (touching a shoulder, a kiss, a hug) mean the world to them.
So which one do you most strongly identify with? Keep in mind that you should only have one primary love language.
I don’t want to spoil the book for you, so I’m going to stop right here.
You definitely need to get the book as it contains several examples to explain how each language works, how to fill the love tank of each category and how to make sure you avoid sadness and disappointment.
The book is available in print format and on Kindle, and can be purchased on Amazon (click here).
Once you’ve gone through the book and understood how the different languages function, you can take a test to find out what YOUR love language is. You can find the test by clicking here.
Related article: How to love People