Are you shy? Do you have difficulty coping with people or situations? Then I have good news for you. You do not have to suffer from shyness and you should not feel insecure and fear that you are being judged with every step you take.
Winning the war with shyness takes practice, but is definitely well worth the effort as the result is increasing confidence and self-esteem. Wake up feeling good about yourself, able to face the world with confidence and security and the knowing that no feeling of shyness can come in your way of achieving your desires.
The Consequences of Shyness
Being overcome with shyness is never good for your social growth and development. Not only does it cause you to purposefully avoid social situations, but it can also lead to isolation, sadness, loneliness, regret, and depression.
In fact, every time you avoid a social situation you are at that moment depleting your reservoirs of self-confidence. And the less self-confidence you have, the less likely you are to give your opinion, to make new friends, to take advantage of social opportunities to further your career or attain your desired objectives.
We all have goals and objectives that we would like to attain. It’s unfortunate for shy individuals that the vast majority of these objectives require the help of other people. This means that to bring their goals to fruition they must venture out into the world and make social connections. And if they are unable to do this, then they will end up living a life full of regrets and unfulfilled promises.
All of these consequences can lead to a very problematic life. However, it doesn’t have to be this way. If shyness is currently directing your decisions and actions, then it’s not too late to make some pivotal changes starting today. The journey, of course, won’t be easy and it will take some time and effort. However, with a desire to make these changes stick and a commitment to upgrade your social skills, you can certainly turn your life around.
There are hundreds of books written on the subject of how to beat shyness and gain confidence, but there are a few techniques that anyone can practice.
Here are 6 suggestions of techniques on how to overcome your shyness:
Overcoming shyness is not going to be a walk in the park. This isn’t an easy process. There are many fears and anxieties in the mix, and as such you may very well need to work through each of them individually. However, as with everything that’s of value, you will certainly make progress as long as you’re diligent and follow the process.
1- Use affirmation
Every morning, as soon as you get up, get in front of a mirror and say out loud “I feel terrific! I feel terrific! I feel terrific!” Repeat this affirmation with enthusiasm at least ten times every day until it’s ingrained into your subconscious mind. I feel a little self-conscious, to begin with, lock yourself in the bathroom. The results will amaze you.
2. Feel good about yourself.
Look your best. Dress up more often. This gives you an extra feeling of confidence and self-esteem. On its own just knowing that you look good will boost your confidence and reinforce with others that there are things about you that are worth getting to know.
3. Take a risk at least once a day.
It’s very invigorating and conquering fears by taking risks helps you grow in confidence and self-esteem. Start with small risks and fears and as you overcome them move onto bigger things. There’s nothing you cannot do. Be confident in knowing that change can only help you grow, and boost your self-confidence to overcome shyness.
When you are engaged in a one to one conversation, or with a larger group of people, let them know that you’re shy. This prevents them from misreading you and they are far more likely to invite you into the conversation rather than leave you just listening and wishing you could contribute. Many people, I included, find following a conversation in a noisy room difficult. If you are having difficulty say so and move so that you can hear. People respect honesty and vulnerability and you will attract more honest people into your life as a result.
5. Rejection is a fact of life that everyone experiences.
It is rarely you that is being rejected. If you are rejected, for example, if you ask someone for a date, remember that everyone has different likes and dislikes. You may be attracted to one type of person and not others. The same applies to other people and you are probably just not their type. That does not devalue you in any way.
Accept this and know that you will get over it. Never take it personally and keep in mind that if people reject you it is because of their own likes and dislikes and not because of who you are. You are equally entitled to reject others because of your likes and dislikes.
6- Start something New
Engage in activities that make you feel excited and good about yourself or start a hobby that gives you a feeling of relaxation. This could be anything from gardening to Tai Chi to Karate. Take some lessons, learn or master a musical instrument or take singing lessons. Do something that excites you and takes a risk. Exploring things that make you feel excited is a great antidote for shyness.